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There are numerous explanations. Folks could be egocentric--eager to impress others with their own thoughts, stories, and thoughts (and not even think to ask questions). Perhaps they're apathetic--they don't care enough to ask, or they expect being bored from the answers they'd hear. They could be overconfident in their knowledge and believe they already know the answers (which sometimes they do, but usually not). Or maybe they worry they'll ask the wrong question and be viewed as impolite or incompetent. But the greatest inhibitor, in our view, is that most people simply don't know how beneficial good questioning can be. If they did, they would end much fewer paragraphs with a time --and more using a question mark. Dating back to the 1970s, research indicates that individuals have conversations to accomplish some blend of two major aims: information exchange (learning) and impression management (liking).
orchid HomecareRecent study shows that asking questions achieves both. Alison and Harvard colleagues Karen Huang, Michael Yeomans, Julia Minson, and Francesca Gino scrutinized thousands of natural conversations among participants who were getting to know one another, either in online chats or about in-person rate dates. The researchers advised some people to ask many questions (at least nine in 15 minutes) and others to ask very few (no more than four in 15 minutes). From the internet chats, the individuals that have been randomly assigned to ask many questions were liked by their conversation partners and heard more about their partners' interests. By way of instance, when quizzed about their partners' preferences for activities like cooking, reading, and exercising, high question askers were more likely to have the ability to guess correctly. One of the speed daters, people were more willing to go on another date with partners who asked more questions. In reality, asking just one more question on each date meant that participants persuaded one additional person (over the course of 20 dates) to go out together .
Questions are such powerful tools they may be beneficial--perhaps particularly so--in circumstances when question asking goes against social norms. For example, existing norms inform us that job candidates are expected to answer questions through interviews. But research by Dan Cable, in the London Business School, and Virginia Kay, at the University of North Carolina, suggests that most people excessively self-promote during job interviews. And when interviewees concentrate on selling themselves, they will likely neglect to ask questions--regarding the interviewer, the company, the job --that would make the interviewer feel more engaged and more apt to view the candidate favorably and may help the candidate forecast whether the job will offer satisfying work. For job candidates, asking questions like"What am I not asking you which I need to?" Can indicate proficiency, build rapport, and uncover key pieces of information concerning the position.
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